How to deal with not feeling “adults” enough

Do you “feel” like your age? Our culture, family and friends help us to come up with ideas about what a “25” or “40” or “60” should look like, but the truth is what a person does. There is no only way to define what should be achieved by a given age. Still, if your perceptions do not match the idea of ​​what it should look like to be an adult of a certain age, you may feel uncomfortable, but to manage those expectations and focus on reality. Here are the steps you can take.

There are some things to consider when you really don’t felt Like an adult.

The definition of adulthood is changing

What are the milestones that traditionally mean you have grown up? Probably moving from my parents’ house. Graduated from college, got married, had children, bought a house. However, uncertain economic conditions and pandemics make it difficult to achieve these outcomes. At the height of the blockade of COVID-19, Over 52% of young adults He broke records during the Great Depression and lived with one or more parents. Achieving these benchmarks in adulthood isn’t as easy as it used to be — not to mention the fact that you may not want to (more on that later).

Researchers are paying attention to these changing norms. Psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett suggests that the period between the ages of 18 and 29 should be considered a “new adulthood.” paper Released in 2000.

“The living situation is fluid,” explained psychologists and therapists. Dr. Barbara Greenberg.. “They are constantly changing … In the more than 30 years of working with people, the only thing you can trust is the change in people’s lives.”

Define your own adulthood

There is no right or wrong way to reach your age. If you feel overwhelmed by images of people of your age but different paths of life, unfollow or mute them on social media and have your own personal thoughts about adulthood. Focus on determining what it looks like, how it feels, and how close you are to achieve it. There are several ways to do this:

• Make a list of achievements that you think you have achieved by this age, or that people of your age think you should.
• Make another list of actual achievements and be generous to yourself. The results are never too small. You may not have a house, but you’ve been paying rent for years, for example. Focus on that list instead.
• Make a list of what you want to achieve in the next 5 or 10 years. As important as what you’ve done so far is whether you’re on your way to achieving your future goals. Keeping your goals in mind when you make decisions can give you confidence that you are continually pursuing your own path to adult success.

This listing advice is for you whenever you are experiencing self-doubt or personal paralysis. Emphasize your ability to perform your job Or feel You haven’t achieved in your personal life..Always strive to maintain victory When Whether it’s happening or not, your goal is a top priority Job changeOr commit Meet more potential companionsAlso Buying real estateAlso Return to school.. Controlling the direction of your life is the most mature thing you can do.

Make sure the goal you are chasing is what you want.I feel like I’m there, so I succumb to the pressure Assumption Doing something is not completely mature.

Don’t put pressure on others

Some of the stress you are experiencing with respect to your perception of your own adulthood (or lack thereof) is internal, but it is probably influenced by external sources. Identify the power of your life that makes you feel inadequate based on your age and achievements, whether it’s your family, your social media feed, or your friends Work to do. Recall the steps you performed above and focus on the list of outcomes and goals, not the recognition of outcomes and goals.

“Let’s lean on ourselves and become more self-compassed,” Greenberg said. “Things should happen organically. Life is full of surprises and things are constantly changing, so there is no reason to feel defensive.”