Why The 50/70 Rule Of Eye Contact Is BS

Do you think about the time you make eye contact with someone when you are having a conversation? Maybe it’s because it’s never been a problem in my life, or maybe it’s because I’m too selfish and lazy. This is an interesting question, but perhaps I’ve been doing it the wrong way this whole time, so I dug into the culture of “making eye contact.”,” and i’m back ideas and question, But there are no good answers.

What is the 50/70 Rule?

Search the internet for tips on proper eye contact and you’ll find them. tons of Link It refers to the “50/70 rule”. The edict states that you should make eye contact with the person you are conversing with about 50% of the time when speaking and 70% of the time when listening.and it isGood until you do a little research.

The first obvious problem with the 50/70 rule is simple math. If two people are using optimal eye contact timing, it doesn’t work out numerically. How do I make eye contact with someone 70% of the time when they’re making eye contact with me 50% of the time? That’s why I asked where the rule actually came from .

Some sites mention “Study at Michigan State University” as the source, but does not link to the study. There is a post like this It’s from a professor at Michigan State University Extension, but that only link seems to be dead. One study showing Make eye contact 30% of the time allowed Participants can retain more information from the video call speaker, but this is not really the case. So until you learn another way (and you might actually miss your research), the 50/70 rule is: sound It’s true, so people keep repeating it without checking.

Based on my research can (and a lifelong anecdotal experience of relatively “normal” social interactions), Consciously controlling where (and when) you look while maintaining a conversation can be very difficult and possibly counterproductive.

If you don’t believe me, try it. My wife and I have tried it and found it almost impossible to calculate the right percentages and tedious to try.

What is eye contact for the sake of for now?

If you tend to lean analytical aspects of the human experience, nonverbal communication can a bit sometimes incomprehensible People exchange information with words because that’s only part of the reason they’re talking.remaining Rarely Expressed or Explained: It was Build with non-verbal communication Cooperation and sympathize. This is (partly) achieved by mimicry. If the conversation is going smoothly, you are mirroring and maintaining each other as you speak and listen. Eye contact is one big way we mirror others.

If mirroring is the best way to build respect and friendship, it seems logical that the amount of eye contact we make should be based on the amount of eye contact we make with the other person. other people like But it’s probably more complicated than that, because (if I’m reading these studies correctly) when people talk, the amount of eye contact they make actually syncs up even when no one is around. is. knowing it or doing something on purpose. Perhaps long-eyed people start shortening their eye contact, and people who hate eye contact lengthen their gaze as they get to know each other.that is violently subtle interactions, too — like us react how often people blinkand synchronize our own blinks together.

It is questionable whether it is possible to consciously synchronize the amount of blinking and eye contact with someone else, and I suspect that attempting to do so will lead to unnatural, out-of-sync gazes that do not foster empathy, respect, or friendship. Rather, it will give a strange impression..

there is research to back it up Up, that too. Contrary to the widespread belief in the sales community that maintaining eye contact helps persuade others, This study Indicates a lot of eye contact Less than Perhaps because it’s unnatural, it’s persuasive to listeners. Not only that, but listeners who maintain eye contact are less persuasive than those who don’t. This is eye contact as a sort of defense system, which seems to be the exact opposite of what people are looking for in a friendly way. conversation. (Think of all this with a grain of salt. This is his one study. This study Basically the opposite. )

But what if you don’t like eye contact?

Most of the online advice for people who have trouble making eye contact includes the hint that if you practice talking to people and try to make eye contact, it may end up feeling more natural. increase. It may work for some people, but many people are bad at non-verbal communication. About the autism spectrum.

Avoiding eye contact is a hallmark of autism that appears early in life and often persists. Many people on the spectrum can learn to make eye contact “better”, but can also read facial expressions, understand body language and other non-verbal communication. ), Many people cannot.When I don’t understand why we are asking them to do so.

For people on the autism spectrum desire Being more “typical” is great, but expecting people with autism to follow (or even want to) follow neurotypical behaviors is a value judgment and a disability. It is a form of person. Instead, the neurotypical person needs to be given leeway. Typical people who show understanding, patience, and empathy for many things Not only is it easy on people, but it is also suitable for neurotypical people. I have some friends on the autism spectrum and smoking marijuana with them enriches my life. We don’t look each other in the eye much when we hang out, but it’s much easier for me. than my peers calculate Percentage of time they look me in the eye or try to blink When I do