If you’re currently on a dating app, you know how easy it is to get lost in too many conversations. Who doesn’t like sampling a little from columns A and B? Plus, when you first meet someone, it’s a good idea to keep the options open until you find someone you can really click on. But is having multiple conversations really your best bet?
according to Laurel House, harmony relationship expert, the answer is yes. “Online dating is a great way to diversify your dating opportunities. When it comes to dating platforms, not only do you diversify, but you can meet people of different religions, races, ages, life paths, occupations, interests, etc. We can date,” she tells Lifehacker. “Historically, you could only date certain types of people, but now that you have access to an array of other ‘types’, it’s ‘equal opportunity dating’ and dating in a different way.” It’s time. Join with an open mind and you might surprise yourself and find out that your perfect partner is the opposite of your typical type.
Obviously, if you’re open to dating different types of people, the number of potential dates will increase. But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming, says House.
“The majority will not make it through the qualifying stages and will be eliminated. It’s about being able to,’ she explains. With that in mind, how many dating conversations is the perfect amount?
How many conversations do you need to have at the same time?
Having multiple conversations with different people can’t make people’s hearts belittle. “Just because you’re dating a few people doesn’t mean you’re superficial, fickle, or playful,” says House. “That said, you don’t want him communicating with more than nine people at once. Too much communication can numb individual emotions, and too little can leave you wanting more.”
her magic number? three.
“I can connect meaningfully with about three people at a time,” says House. “Meaningful means having honest, vulnerable, and connected conversations. We’ve moved communication from apps to phones, and perhaps to real life. And then to what a relationship really needs.” As you hone further and focus, you can continue to date three people in real life. I have an opportunity.”
Keep 3 matches at once
It could be argued that most of us are set up to get our attention one person at a time, but dating only one person at a time creates a “self-initiating process” to make it work. House says there can be a lot of pressure. Other Outlook.
“In that pressured place, you can act out of a sense of deprivation, making you feel fear, anxiety, need, and hopelessness,” she explains. You may make the wrong decision when it is, and you feel good when you are with that person.”
But if you’re dating more than one person, most of us feel less elated for each one, she says. This is actually a good thing. “When your brain and judgment aren’t flooded with dopamine, you’re more likely to think clearly and spot important red flags.”
Do not carry on more than 9 conversations at once
If you like the “more is more fun” mentality, be aware that communicating with more than 9 users in one app can be confusing. It’s easy to forget conversations, facts, and feelings. Details and facts matter, but feelings matter even more.
“You may be having a great conversation with one person. You share, you connect, you feel a growing interest in this particular person,” she says. When you turn your attention to one of the many other people you’re talking to, you can actually forget the temporarily heightened emotion.”
This explains why people so often fail when it comes to dating apps. “If she thinks she’s having a great conversation with someone, and then suddenly they stop responding, I can’t take it personally,” she says. “We don’t know what happened to them at the end. Perhaps they were communicating with someone else in the first place.
How to date three people at once
How do you separate your emotions from each of the three magicHouse says it’s a matter of strategy and separation.
“While you are dating each person, fall in love with them in the moment. I call it all without obsession,” she says. “This strategy allows you to be fully present with each person, thereby giving each individual relationship the respect and presence it deserves. Having a connected presence is difficult.You have to be open and present and aware in your individual relationships.It is difficult to do with more than three people.”
The perfect number of dating app conversations to have at once
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