How to Tell When You’re Over Your Relationship

I know that if you are in a long term relationship they can be full of ups and downs and experience a lot of growing pains. It happens as you grow and evolve. But as time goes on, we’d like to think that we grow together with our partner, but that’s not always the case.

“All relationships have a purpose. Some are for eternity, most are for ‘for now’ or ‘for a while.’ Laurel House, is a dating coach and expert in harmonious relationships. “If you feel that a relationship has reached its limits, the relationship has expired and that’s fine. It’s a healthy time to let it go.”

At its most basic, House says, you feel like you’ve outgrown your relationship—not changing at the same speed and pace as you.

Plus, “it can be uncomfortable because your partner feels stagnant, sees your partner as a reflection of your past, or feels like you’ve outgrown your partner,” she says.

If you keep trying to force a relationship into something it’s not, you run the risk of turning it from a learning opportunity into something toxic and even harmful, according to House.

“That doesn’t mean that the moment you feel you have grown more than your partner, you should stop doing it. It’s time to judge. Give your partner the opportunity to grow if they want to.”

It can be hard to accept that a relationship is going wrong, but knowing and understanding some of the signs can be a good indicator of where you are and how you want to move forward from there. Yes. Here are some things to consider.

Your partner reminds you of who you used to be, which triggers you

According to House, the main sign that your relationship has grown is because your partner is still engaging in the same old activities, habits, and headspaces that you had when you first dated, thus making the former you. It’s a case of reminding.

“You’ve worked hard to stop, grow, and move away from that behavior, but your partner is happy in that old place, and you’re frustrated, angry, resentful, sad. “You may also feel like they’re trying to hold you back, which makes you angry. There may be a part and your partner is tempting you back and making it difficult to keep moving forward.”

Usually this can happen if you have known your partner for a long time or before a major transition period in your life. “You may have had a reality check or a life-changing experience that made you decide to change your ways or do things differently, but your partner I didn’t have the enlightenment to bring about the same kind of change.”

I feel like I’m constantly telling my partner to work harder, work harder, and do better.

Do you feel like your partner’s parent or mentor? Do you want to be persistent when you have to constantly ask your partner to change or feel like you are putting more energy into your partner’s growth than they do? Are you starting to feel? Then you’ve probably grown beyond the relationship.

“Your partner may be the go-with-the-flow type that you initially found attractive and admired,” House explains. “But now that real life has set in, you need your partner to rise in life and become better and more evolved. You start to resent your partner because you start to feel like you’re the only one, which can happen if you have a more goal-oriented nature.”

Embarrassing your partner when you are with new friends or co-workers

Another sign, says House, is if your partner is getting along better with old friends in their old life, but new friends and relationships are different, and your partner doesn’t belong in this new group. If you don’t feel it. For example, you may notice that there are completely different differences between them when it comes to communication, interests, and even dress.

“You’re new to this group and you don’t want to introduce anyone who questions who you really are because the new can feel fragile,” House said. “Your partner is a reflection of who you are, yet they are still so attached to their old style that your new group wonders whether your expression of personality is just a pretense or a decoration. You and your partner may feel like you’re on two different tracks as a result.

You find yourself looking for someone more like yourself

“As you grow and develop, your new interests, conversations, beliefs, and styles may lead you to seek out people who share the same interests, conversations, beliefs, and styles,” says House. “People with similar tastes may not only share with you, but help you further explore, expand, and deepen this new side of you. and are less interested in having the same old conversations they have with their partners now, which can lead to internal conflicts that bring grief, regret, frustration, and irritation. I hate to get lost both emotionally and emotionally, but at the same time, I know I need more.”

If you want to work things out with your partner, House recommends the 3Cs. “Tell us how you feel, what you need and what your goals are. Learn about different action steps and how we can help each other to activate them.” Discuss: Talk about a realistic timeframe and decide to reconnect on status at that time, if that time has passed and they haven’t put in the time or effort to make the change , they may not actually want the change and are just making it because they are being forced to, if they are reluctant to make that change, or they may actually be making the change If so, resentment can arise, which is never healthy in a relationship.