Maybe it’s the long sleepless nights or the endless tantrums, but many new parents think the toughest times in parenting are in the early childhood years. ) It can be a long adjustment period to change your behavior around your family. It is said that it is better to harden yourself towards.
“I loved having young children,” he says. “But adolescents want to be like friends. Separation is necessary so that by the end of adolescence young people can assume functional independence. We need growth.”
of his upcoming book Embracing While Letting Go: Raising Your Child Through the 4 Freedoms of Adolescence, Pickhardt shares four stages, or “freedoms,” for predicting children growing into themselves. By observing how they manage themselves in school, home and social situations. We discuss these freedoms, how the Internet complicates them, and how to navigate them.
How can parents help their children become functioning adults?
Parents often feel the need to hold on to their children rather than let them go. This can make the path from a poor child to a strong, independent adult difficult for mothers, fathers, and adolescents.
“Children don’t need our love,” he says. “But they must acquire the next level of freedom by exhibiting a certain level of judgment and action.”
Mothers and fathers should be ready to listen When Communicate with children.By talking to them and determining where they are on the path to adulthood, parents can confidently loosen the shackles of their adolescents and watch them grow into independent adults. The following is how Pickhardt outlines the four freedoms as follows:
freedom from childhood rejection
This stage typically occurs in early elementary school. Young people tend to stop acting like children and want to feel like adults.
“Children no longer want to be treated like children and become a little more adamant about what they want.” pickhart says.
Freedom of association with peers
This stage occurs around middle school when children want to form a second family of friends.
“Childhood is a time of physical affection, and adolescence begins to move away from it.” pickhart says“On the other hand, you’re engaging with them and seeing what kind of person they’re growing into.”
The freedom of old experiments
This freedom happens in high school. Teenagers want to try more adult activities.
“You can tell by looking at how they dress.” pickhart says“They want to dress like their friends.”
liberty to claim liberation
Teenagers become adults heading to college and decide to take control of themselves.
“Adolescence begins with loss” pickhart says“For a parent, losing a child is a courageous act for a child. It’s hard to let go of familiar comforts. But it’s part of growing up. But the long-term goal is: It’s about growing and becoming a functioning individual.”
How do social media and smartphones allow for these freedoms?
The smartphone you bought for your child’s birthday may be making the journey to adulthood difficult. Remember when you asked your parents? Pickhardt says time has passed, partly because the internet and social media are now available in a child’s hip pocket. Raising a child through her four freedoms during adolescence is extremely difficult, as a teenager is allowed to grow up in a completely different world than her parents.
“In some respects, [social media and the internet] We have accelerated our growth,” he says. “Growing up is certainly complicated because we are informing and influencing our children at a much earlier age than a generation ago. We are raising our children through two worlds instead of one. .”
Pickhardt emphasizes that communication is key to helping children weather the onslaught of both good and bad information. He admits that it can be difficult for parents and children to have conversations because adolescents tend to listen to their friends. If you’re prepared and appreciate their interest, it can go a long way.
“You can use your child as a teacher to learn about this new world that you may not know much about,” he says.
Help them understand that you are on the same team
Through all discussions between parent and child, Pickhardt emphasizes how important communication is throughout this process. The important thing for both parties to realize is that they both have the same goals. It’s about growing adolescents into independent adults.
“‘Just because I keep questioning what you want or don’t want me to do doesn’t mean I’m not on your side. I hope you will use me as a good advisor who truly thinks in your best interests,” he says.
Pickhardt also says to give yourself respite when mistakes are unavoidable and allow adolescents to question their achievement of that goal. Act as a team to get there. “Two of you are better than one,” he says.
How to Raise Your Child Through These Four Stages of Adolescence
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