How to move together without breaking up, according to relationship experts

To move together relationship Attached milestone clear Benefits like Intimacy with your partner I will divide the rent The decision is Also general relationship issues. I talked to therapist Minaa B.Eharmony relationship experts, analyze why these problems occur and what you can do to solve them..

Choose how to divide labor with your partner

Now that we are living together, it is often difficult to think that the division of housework has suddenly become easier... According to B., when couples move together, some common problems they encounter can be a disagreement in beliefs about household responsibilities and labor distribution. “In general, heterosexual relationships can uphold the traditional gender norms of one or both partners, which creates unequal dynamics in the first place,” she says. .. “A male partner is a female partner who cleans and cooks everything, And anything that is generally related to home care. “

To find a solution to this, B. It is advisable to discuss in advance who will take the lead in each domestic labor before the couple travels together. “For example, if only one partner knows how to cook, the discussion may take place on a night when that partner is too tired or tired to cook at home. Lead the order. “

Another solution may be to help your partner prepare the ingredients, so all they may need to do is cook the food without any additions. Labor.

Regarding cleaning, B. Suggests to discuss the chore schedule. “How often do you imagine you need to clean your home, or how much time do you have on your side to accomplish this? You both weekly or monthly You may consider outsourcing support by hiring a cleaning service at one of them. “

How to handle your finances with your partner

Money is a common source of conflict for many relationships, so it’s not surprising that money is in the head. If you decide to do Move together. Some problems are Share decisions about who is responsible for what Bank account or have Enough finances to cover common costs.And men A few In heterosexual relationships, women may expect a male partner to assume more financial responsibility.

B. says it helps to have a clear understanding of what each other is earning and how much they can contribute. To another cost.. “We may decide that it is best to divide everything evenly based on total income, or if one partner is significantly ahead of the other, while the other partner covers it. They may undertake heavy charges such as rent and mortgages. Utilities. “You can also set a percentage where one partner contributes 65% to each. Major invoices, and other partners pay 35%.

Sharing a bank account may not be necessary to live together.It is usually used for things that benefit the home. ”

Do not takeIntimacy with the original is natural

You might think that cohabitation automatically means more sex, but that’s not always true. “There may be a demand for too much sex, and there may be conflicts over having too little sex,” says B. “If you have an intimacy problem, it’s It is important to communicate your needs to your partner. Maybe one partner is always working long hours, going home, draining and ready to go to bed, so maybe she’s lacking sex. If this is a problem, keep in mind that joy and intimacy do not necessarily mean sex. “

Instead, B. It is advisable to consider how you can engage in foreplay acts Or consider how to make sex exciting in a way that benefits both. “Do you have time to book a hotel near your partner’s work so that they can meet you after work? How can you create a fun environment that invites sex and intimacy when your partner returns home?”?? Most importantly, are you still dating each other, even though you live together? Dating is more physical, emotional, And sexual intimacy. Don’t neglect your date night just because you live together. “

Make a plan for acco oHmmodatingLonely time

Even if you spend a lot of time with your partner before moving with you, if you’re used to living alone, your new “roommates” may get in the way of your loved one.

“It may be difficult to get out of living alone There is always someone in your space. If you’re the type of person who needs to stay away from you, or the type of person who is overwhelmed by being in a tight, crowded space, one of the things couples should consider is the type of house they live in. B. explains. “It’s possible A one-bedroom apartment may not be enough. Especially if the square foot is on the tight side. When considering moving together, consider whether a two-bedroom is more suitable for separation and quality time needs than a one-bedroom. “

If that is not feasible for you, B. Suggests to find a way to make your space suitable for your needs, Whether that means going to a coffee shop outside your home, taking a walk, or hanging out with friends to make room. Talk about your expectations and plan how you want to treat your time alone.

“Quality time “is

At the same time, living with your partner does not mean that you are always having a fulfilling time with each other.you Scroll your phone with you at dinner or relax on the couch while watching Netflix. May It’s okay to do it from time to time, But it’s not What brings a couple closer — Normally The point of cohabitation.

“Living together doesn’t mean we’re spending quality time together, so it’s also important to intentionally spend quality time,” says B. “Having a fulfilling time with each other seems like having dinner together or setting boundaries, rather than two separate rooms. There is no phone at the table at dinner. It may seem that you choose to disconnect Netflix and go to bed at the same time, deliberately having more sex or talking about pillows. “

Best of all, communicate with your partner to make your living situation a comfortable place for both you and you.