How to Find an “Emotional Vampire” (and Know If You Are Alone)

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You don’t really need to know what an “emotional vampire” is. What do vampires do? They suck blood from people.So what can we reasonably assume? emotional Do you have a vampire? Yes: they suck energy from people. But recognizing if you are surrounded by leeches that kill these vibes or if you are yourself is a bit more difficult than guessing what they are. Here’s how to recognize emotional and social vampires and make sure you’re not alone.

How to identify emotional vampires

When you get home and sigh a relief to get away from them, you will know that you were around an emotional vampire-and you can still feel their figurative fangs. ..And they can be anywhere: you You may come across them in your own family, your group of friends, or at work.

“Emotional vampires are so called because they suck emotional energy from almost everyone in life,” he explained. Dr. Marni FeuermannPsychotherapist in Boca Raton, Floridaa.And the author of Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop falling for men who aren’t available and be smart about healthy relationships. “”These people are often described as “exhausted” or “overwhelming” because they require constant verification and attention. They often seem to have a serious crisis, complaints, and an attitude of “why life is unfair to me”. Relationships are not interrelationships. ”

You may also encounter emotional or social vampires in your dating life.

Logan Uri, Director of Relationship Sciences at Hinge, said: “It’s your penthouse guy. They raise you. Now I want you to think of someone who makes you feel small, depressed, and lost energy. It’s your basement guy. They defeat you. Another word for a person in the basement is “social vampire”-a person who sucks life from you. When you’re on a date, ask yourself, “Is this a penthouse person or a basement person?” That question helps you pay attention to what really matters and reduce worrying about not. “

In short, as long as you pay attention to the signs, you will notice if you are dealing with someone who sucks out your emotional energy.

How do you know you Emotional vampire?

Recognizing an emotional vampire in your life requires a little practice and insight, but it is necessary to understand if you are an energy-consuming person for your friends and colleagues. There is nothing compared to the one.

“From an emotional vampire’s point of view, they feel that others can’t get them, life is unfair, and others don’t give them enough help, time, and attention. “ Feuermann said.. “They also find themselves fighting a lot with their friends and family, or suddenly dropped by them without explicit explanation. The best way for emotional vampires to recognize this is It’s about looking back over the years on the close relationship between the past and the present and seeing if this seems to be long-Standing patterns or common themes throughout their lives. “

“One of the main elements of being an energy vampire is that the boundaries are poor and you feel okay about yourself by relying on interaction with others,” said clinical director and founder Brooke.・ Sprawl has been added. My LA therapy And the author of the next book, Why you should date a man who is emotionally unavailable.. “”[That] It is very exhausting and can turn people off. ”

Please ask yourself. Do you have poor boundaries?teeth Do you calm yourself by relying on interactions with others rather than relying on others for mutually beneficial connections?

What to do about emotional vampires

If you are an emotional vampire here, take steps to better recognize your interactions with others. Reduce speaking, listen, and balance interaction and conversation. Work actively to interact more with colleagues and friends about their lives. And when you turn the topic to yourself, accept your feedback.

If you’re dealing with someone you’re inhaling yours Energy, first of all, understand that this should or should not be dealt with simply by you.Can be harmful For you to continue this.

“Emotional vampires require so much concentration, attention, and emotional energy that you have nothing left.” Feuermann said. “”In fact, they seem to thrive from the emotional reactions of others In the story of their life. Their self-esteem is low. Clinchers are a lack of self-awareness about how they come across others in the circle. “

“Nothing remains for you” is a major concern. You deserve to be happy, fulfilling, and healthy, so if anyone is sucking it from you, it must be done. Feuerman recommended three steps that could be taken gradually in the direction of cutting off a person. Lower expectations, keep things superficial, and finally limit contact.

But first and foremost, we communicate. Please state clearly that the person is consuming your energy and that you want to make the relationship more reciprocal. If they don’t make any changes, lower your expectations. From there, Feuerman said that while you can maintain the relationship, it also has the power to prevent the conversation from getting too deep. The superficial route of Chit Chat is less emotionally demanding. Ultimately, even if you limit contact, some communication is required if you do it responsibly.

“You can put a limit on complaining by saying,’Listen to what you’re saying.’ Want to talk about a solution right now? ,‘” Feuermann said. “”You also need to plan your exit strategy in advance for times when you may feel cornered. When they keep up with their latest drama, you can also say, “I’m sorry for what’s happening to you.” No need to provide help, advice or suggestions. “

No No longer engaged in debilitating behavior yours Energy may show them that they need to make a difference..