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How to date someone who has anxiety

Image of an article titled How to Dating People Who Have Anxiety

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Everyone is a little nervous when it comes to dating. It’s pretty normal to experience butterflies in your stomach when you anticipate your date text message or wonder if they feel the same about you. But for those who are worried, Those emotions are much more intense and occur more often.

If you are dating someone who has anxiety It can be frustrating and confusing as to why your partner feels this way and how difficult it is for you to help them. First, it helps to understand what anxiety is.

howUnderstand Anxiety of your partner

Anxiety is a comprehensive term that can take many forms for people, but when it comes to anxiety in relationships, Dr. Joan FrederickQualified mental health counselor and book author Copeology, Say the reason Someone can develop an attachment to anxiety. “Most often seen in people who may have childhood, have low self-esteem, and look at others more favorably than they do. They seek safety and intimacy from others. Too much reliance on these relationships can be problematic, which can lead to a choking panic, worrying about your partner’s behavior, attention, loyalty, and loyalty. “

The anxiety of your partner can sometimes be difficult to navigate, But that doesn’t mean that you need to break the relationship, especially if you find the connection worthwhile. As long as your partner seeks professional support for their anxiety Frederick says you can have a great relationship with them.

“Uneasy people are not crazy at all”‘” Frederick says. “”They can be very intelligent and expensive-Functional, affectionate, loyal, empathetic, successful, And it’s fun. Their anxiety will not be so serious that they are safer and “safer” than they are perceived by their partners. Anxious partners need to be patient, kind and open-I’m curious and sympathetic. “

If you don’t know what it involves or what it looks like in a viable way, Frederick offers several strategies To help you make more bonds with your loved ones.

learning Anxiety of your partner trigger

according to Frederick, understanding the triggers of your partner is the first step in improving your relationship, so you know what causes their anxiety.

“It’s also helpful to learn about childhood. Similarly, It gives many clues to the cause of the anxiety they are experiencing, “she says. “Ask them about the trauma they may have experienced if they were able to share comfortably if their childhood was not the cause.”

It’s also helpful to work with your therapist to see if you’re overcoming these issues. This allows the two to be more comprehensively connected.

Help your partner seek treatment — and join when you can

If your partner is not seeking treatment, we recommend that you gently suggest treatment. It is important that you remain supportive, However, it is just as important not to act as a caregiver or therapist.

According to why it helps you to participate Frederick says, “Getting knowledge from experts who have seen this kind of anxious behavior, understanding it, teaching partners the best way to deal constructively and manage their emotions. The more you understand anxiety, the more “reasonable” it will be for you, even if you are not suffering from it. “

Do not minimize or deny their feelings

Even if your partner’s anxiety doesn’t make sense to you That doesn’t mean it’s not realistic for your partner.

“Anxiety does not always make sense or manifest in a logical way, but it is still very realistic for those who are experiencing anxiety.” Frederick says.. Use phrases like “then speak yourself”, “shake it off”,‘Or’ that’everything is in your head’is counterproductive. “

Instead, Frederick suggests the following script to calm the partner:

What can I do now to help you?

Is there anything that upsets you this morning or is you worried today or in the future?

Is there a place where I can go somewhere or can I get rid of my anxiety by doing it together?

You are safe Nothing happens to you. I am here.

Be specific to your words and continue your actions

Anxious people are often caused by contradictions and lack of information.This can be a simple fix when you understand it Being specific to your communication and following your actions can help calm your partner.

“A person without anxiety must not be mysterious.” Frederick says.. “For example, don’t say,’I’m out for a few hours. See you later.'” It makes anxious people believe that there are elements of mystery and deception. Specifically, “I go to the mall and eat a bite to eat with a friend. Call my cell if necessary.” This allows anxious partners to contact you frankly. I feel that it has been removed. “

According to another example Frederick is when your partner says, “I’m really nervous when you’re late, but don’t call me, I’m anxious and worried.” Then you can easily fix it by calling or texting your partner when you’re late.

of course, This is something because you have the right to your own boundaries You need to discuss with your partner when and how you can contact them. When what you say is consistently consistent, it helps your uneasy partner to trust your connection more and inevitably helps you to better understand each other. ..

“The more open you are, the safer your partner will feel.” Frederick says.. “What to share It deserves your point in the relationship without acting as if you were an agent of the CIA. “

Signs that this relationship is not for you, despite your best efforts

At some point, they tried to reasonably change their behavior to avoid known triggers for their partners, but jealousy, distrust, and And the conflict is still prevalent in your relationship, This only leads to an uneasy life that escalate the anxiety of both parties, Frederick says..

“Maybe you’ve even tried to go with a couple for counseling,” she says. “”It is unreasonable to expect one partner to be able to extract 100% of the “oxygen” needed to survive from another person. If the anxiety of attachment is very severe, practicing, behavioral changes, support, Or “embracing” will improve the situation and it is very likely that anxious partners will need more intensive treatment on their own before forming a healthy romantic partnership. “

And you have the right to leave.

How to date someone who has anxiety

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