How to borrow money from a friend without ruining the relationship

Times are tough.For financial matters be crowded, you You may be thinking of asking a trusted family member or friend borrow some money to help you get get back on your feetOr maybe your brother is asking you for a loan To get them on their next payday. Proceed with caution: you may remember Shakespeare’s wordsI’m sure he was talking about “neither a borrower nor a lender” Borrow or loan Give money to people close to you.

Borrowing money puts you in an awkward position where you feel guilty if you can’t pay the other person. Go back in time (Also Jeez)You can also lend money to friends and family It provokes feelings of resentment on both sides – you want your money back and they’re mad that you’re cornering them for cash.In other words, involving money, you risk going sour quickly your relationship.

For these reasons, bBorrowing or lending money amicably or within a family relationship it’s the best considered a last resort.However, there are some ways to keep things from going sideways.

get everything in writing

Before exchanging money Laura Adams personal finance expert Finder.comadvising thinking like a bank, put everything In writing: how much money is changing handsand the repayment terms.

“When making important financial transactions with family and friends, don’t be so casual as to skip making formal promissory notes,” she says. “When you want to borrow money from a friend or relative, first put the details in writing, offer to pay a reasonable interest rate, and make sure they are happy with your request. Documentation is important to avoid potential future misunderstandings.”

Treat loans like any other bill

Christine Lukealso known as economic dignity Coach says it’s important for borrowers to treat loans from friends and family like they would any other bill. Communication is also important, if you can’t pay on time, don’t avoid the person, be honest and try to rework the deal and see if you can get back on track.”

Adams suggests: If money is tight, Create a budget for your income and expenses so you can adequately repay your financial obligations to family and friends. “You can include an initial grace period in your contract, such as starting payments a few months after you receive the funds.”

Do not lend money if it threatens your own financial security

Sometimes we lend money we don’t have because we want to help our loved ones. or a very large amount We are threatening our own financial security. T.he’s a big no no“If you can’t afford to lend money to your friends, you can’t afford to.” Luke To tell.Not only are you putting your relationship in jeopardy, you are putting your own financial well-being at risk. ”

Giving money you don’t have, says Luke, “is not only stressful for the person taking the loan. It’s also emotionally taxing for the person borrowing the money,” and will definitely hurt your relationship. .If you value your relationship with this person, you need to lovingly explain or give them money that you can’t risk your own financial situation to help them.” she says.

Never lend money to someone who has a history of financial irresponsibility or substance abuse

It’s definitely tempting to help a friend or family member, but if the thought that they owe you money, or perhaps never pay it back, is damaging your relationship, it’s best not to go there. , means if you have been financially irresponsible in the past, especially if you have a history of substance abuse and it is to blame. Financial instability, best not to get involved.

“I find this difficult when someone is trying to make you feel guilty and give them money,” says Luke. “Sadly, some people resort to emotional manipulation to get their way. We have to remember that the irresponsibility of others is not our problem.”No’ It’s a complete sentence. There is no obligation to explain to the other party. ”

just don’t do it

However, Luke recommends establishing a personal policy of never lending (or borrowing) money if you know you might succumb to someone’s sobbing for financial help. increase. friends and family. “If someone asks me, ‘I have a personal policy of never lending money to friends or family. My relationship is too important for any money to come between us.’ ”

Finally, Whether you are the borrower or the lender, it is important to remember that your relationship may feel strained until the loan is repaid. If you have a choice, it may be your best bet.’ says Luke.