Ask yourself these questions before committing to a much younger partner

Ask yourself these questions before committing to a much younger partner

perhaps Age is just a number, However, if you are dating a young partner or are considering looking for a partner, it is important to consider a specific question before proceeding. Depending on what you want in life and relationships—From sexual desire to children to emotional satisfaction —There are important considerations Keep in mind when it comes to dating young partners who are quite different in age.

There are clear hurdles when it comes to dating young partners, Dr. Sara E. HillA research psychologist and professor of sexuality and dating, said:“People who are 10 years, 20 years, or older can experience a genuine romantic connection, just like those who are close in age.”

And despite the stereotypes of heteronormativity (ie, Classic May-December romance with older men and young Ingénue), Hill says that having an age-difference relationship is an option available to everyone.

“This is not just a relationship choice for heterosexual men or women, cisgender women, or others who adhere to the traditional gender binary system.“She says.

What helps your relationship Keep a distance —Or determine if the connection is a temporary suspension of your dating journey —Be honest with yourself and your partner and ask the right questions.

“To establish these relationships requires honesty and communication from both parties,” says Hill. “These are conversations that can be applied to any age-difference relationship, including you.”

Consider asking yourself, and your new love interests, even if chemistry is electrical.Next question See if it really suits you.

What is my intention in pursuing this relationship?

“According to research, this is one of the most important questions to ask before getting into relationships, but especially when pursuing non-traditional relationships,” says Hill. “Many people fall into these relationships with hidden assumptions about what they mean.”

For example, is this a short-term relationship that exists to realize sexual fantasy? Or do you want a real connection with someone?

“Knowing what your own intentions are will allow you to communicate your expectations and needs to your partner and they will be able to communicate their needs to you.“Hill says.

What do you think about the possibility of making more money than your partner?

“In our culture, older people tend to respond to greater profitability,” says Hill. “”Therefore, at most ages-Gap relationships, older partners make more money. ” This is obviously a personal choice, But it’s a good idea to think about what that means in the dynamics of your relationship..

For example, are you happy that you can afford to travel and pick up tabs more often than your partner?If you can afford a home at this time of your life, are you okay If you have fpartner Who may not be in the same financial position as you? If not, it may be time to call it end.

What if a young partner wants to have (more) children?

Many people over the age of 30 already have children, Hill says it’s important for both men and women, who are already parents, to consider whether they want to keep their families growing.

“If they intend to build a relationship with a young partner, do they want to have (more) children? Can they have (more) children? If they can no longer have children ,old-What do they think of the non-traditional way to become a parent in the old fashioned way? “

Am I emotionally ready to have a relationship where stigma still exists?

Most Americans report that it is acceptable for older women to date younger men, but according to Hill, the double standard still exists.she is Ipsos Survey Of more than 1,000 Americans entrusted by Cougars LifeCanada-based dating site for authorized women, revealed that 71% of men and women reported accepting male-led age-Gap relationship, only 60% accepted female-led age-Gap relationship.

“Before jumping into these relationships, it’s important to think realistically about this double standard and make sure that you’re prepared for the possibility that not everyone will support your decision,” Hill said. increase. “For example, many people think these relationships are purely about sex and money. It’s very important that everyone is on the same page about the expectations of everyone involved.”

And if you’re not into the traditional cisgender or heterosexual box, Hill says the aforementioned numbers would be less. “No matter how you identify LGBTQIA or heterosexual, not everyone is aware of this double standard and supports your decision before jumping into these age-difference relationships. It’s important to make sure you’re prepared for the possibilities. “

How can you see my relationship and life goals evolving over the next few years?

“Each of us is an ongoing task, and our needs and desires are …Not only in our relationships, but also professionally in our relationships with others—It changes as it matures, “says Hill. “In an age-difference relationship, the risk of final misalignment is somewhat higher because the two parties are at different life stages. Whether there is an expectation of continuous adjustment despite the age difference. It’s important to think about the future to confirm. “

As our needs and desires change as we mature, Hill says it’s important to better understand the future expectations of you and your partner and where you fit.

Therefore, be honest with yourself by clarifying your life and relationship goals before furthering your relationships. DDoes your partner realistically fit within them? It’s important to stay true to what you want from your partner, Regardless of age.