Ask Amy: Meditation Speakers Are Guided to the Exit

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Dear Amy: I recently joined a meditation group with both in-person and online sessions.

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During the online session, I put a note in the chat that everyone would go to see the full moon after the session.

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The group leader was furious. He yelled at the group that I was a distraction and that no one should read the chat.

I found it odd because he could disable the chat feature in Zoom if he didn’t want to.

At the end of the meeting, I told everyone to enjoy the beautiful full moon and signed off.

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After the session, the teacher contacted me and said that I had disturbed him.

I didn’t.

Nevertheless, he suggested I find another group.

I live in a small town and don’t have another group. (I have a weekly online group with another teacher.)

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Prior to this incident, I personally asked him in a public newsletter distributed to his subscribers to stop saying unkind things behind his back about his ex-girlfriend. said he didn’t know this woman and didn’t think it was fair for him to share her personal information online.

I suspect that request made him bristle at me.

I wanted to make friends there. Any suggestions?

– Stargazer

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Dear Stargazers: Wow, and I thought middle school was full of drama!

I have no personal experience with meditation groups.

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I used the online “chat” feature to make a harmless comment to the group, but if I had made this comment verbally in a face-to-face class, the group leader might have asked me not to speak.

It seems most logical that he simply forgot to disable the “chat” feature.

After being corrected during class, I decided to reinsert the thoughts directed at the group before “Immediately sign off.”

You don’t seem to want to meditate. I want to communicate. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you don’t try to do it during group meditation.

Your leader may be avenging a previous unrelated incident, but that’s his group.

Too bad there aren’t any other groups you can join, except (according to you) you are.

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Setting your own boundaries and respecting others is an essential part of building a friendship. This sounds like something you should meditate on.

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for 22 years. We met when I was 28 and got married when I was 30. She is her first and only marriage and mine is my second.

We love each other, have fun, raise two daughters in a great community, and have a great life together.

Both of our daughters have entered college and are doing very well.

I got married right out of college.

We dated all through college, but our marriage only lasted 18 months.

The wife believes that at some point she should share this former relationship with her daughters.

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I don’t think it affects our lives today, so no need to share.

What do you think?

– doubt

Dear Wanderling: I don’t consider this to be serious news, but I think it will be interesting information for your daughters.(Dad has a past!)

In fact, this previous marriage has impacted your life today. You have certainly learned, grown, and changed as a result of this relationship. And if you’ve been through a divorce, chances are you’ve chosen not to repeat that experience.

I don’t see this as a “we have to have a family meeting” argument, but as a fact that can be shared in context. Your daughters will probably answer: no way! “They want to know more and move on.

Dear Amy: I really liked your detailed response to “not feeling neighbors” with neglected children and borderless neighbors. I faced a similar situation a few years ago and, as you suggested, the boundaries I had to enforce were “not to start wars, but to prevent them.”

– appreciated

Dear Thanks: The more established neighbors had to teach these young parents some basic lessons.