Why you shouldn’t call your partner “needy”

If you have ever thought In a sense, your partner as a “needy”, you may be right.In response to the Attachment theoryAnxious attachments can occur in adults who receive inconsistent care and whose needs are not met as a child. Adults with anxiety often seek approval, support, and peace of mind from their partners.However, label the partner as “needy” without looking inward to identify it. your Own Attachment style, It is unproductive and can damage relationships.

As a sex therapist Vanessa Marine Said Busy“People who show clinging behavior really [acting out] Of anxiety. They probably have had people in the past experience using them or breaking their trust. “

Conversely, parenting that is completely emotionally distant can develop a person’s evasive attachment style. People with an evasive attachment style are usually negative and closed when it comes to intimacy. This distinction is important because it can lead to “push / pull” of relationships that can be unhealthy for both partners.This means that one person leans forward, actively pursues to meet his needs, and the other repeatedly pulls away...Relationships with couples who have these two different attachment styles Associated with increased stress, depression, and decreased couple satisfaction..

Sarah TranceNew York City Relationships and Sex Therapists said, “Once you understand your attachment style, how that style affects your intimacy and the meaning of your connection, and what fears and anxieties you have. Consider discussing about. “

Identifying our own style of attachment with mental health professionals helps us understand how we engage in relationships. It’s easy to properly label someone without thinking that this might be a bigger reflection of you.However, by labeling someone as follows: “Needy”, you are excluding your own accountability.

How to change the style of attachments

The relationship requires work and effort from both parties. No one is “stuck” in their attachment style. Working with the therapist is the best way to change. Although the first experience with a caregiver can affect our lives as adults, it is entirely possible to spend time and effort improving relationships with others. In fact, there are many therapists who specialize in improving attachment styles. Attachment-based treatment Is one modality that has been shown to help foster safer attachments. Therefore, be sure to look for a therapist who will use this style of treatment.

“By seeing attachment in treatment” London-based psychotherapist Rachel Buchan Said“By examining your childhood and past experiences, you begin to understand the coping strategies you have formed early in life and how they now affect your relationships and reactions. Notice. And how do you feel about yourself now? “

Ultimately, everyone has different emotional needs in relationships. “If your partner’s attachment style is different from yours, don’t judge it,” Trance said. … we usually learn how to connect in an implicit way long before we build a relationship with each other. Instead, understand the different styles so that you can navigate the differences confidently and clearly. “

“Poor” people are subjective. Everyone needs to defend what they want and need in a relationship. CAlliance of other important needy people cSend a message that you are not interested in working with them and eventually shut down others.In each case, there may be a stable relationship that respects the needs of both parties. Partner teeth Willing to work with When Look inside..