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Ask Amy: Holiday Gifts Amplify Anxiety

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Dear Amy: I’m thinking about gift giving this holiday season.

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I have traditionally purchased gifts for my family (5 adults, 5 children), close friends, and their children (they also buy me nice gifts!).

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I used to enjoy this but now it seems ridiculously expensive.

I am 62 and still working but have no real disposable income this year.

I told my mother that I wanted to decline the gift this year for financial reasons. Tell all family members that you don’t want to exchange gifts this year. “

The problem is, I’m embarrassed to do it. It’s hard for me to imagine being with my family on Christmas morning and everyone else giving presents. You feel awkward or very depressed.

I will be bringing my parents (89 and 90) so I can’t skip the event. Also, I love my family and want to be with them.

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I’m an artist and one Christmas a few years ago I found myself in a similar financial situation and had everyone paint. I don’t think I can do it again and haven’t thought of anything else to make them (at least not yet).

I wish our family would do something like swap names and buy one nice gift for just one person. There is none.

Any advice?

– Feel the Scroogie

Dear Scroogie: For many families, there is an inflection point on the holidays when adults look around their crowded home and say, “Enough is enough.” My family has dealt with this for years by painting names at Thanksgiving. We agree with your mom about going completely off the hook, but we also understand that this may not be a satisfying gift-giving season for you.

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Good luck! you are an artist It seems that once you draw a picture, you can never draw again. I strongly disagree!

My great-uncle, who is also an artist, created a unique Christmas card each year, made prints, signed and personally marked the recipient. Nearly 100 years later, these treasures are collector’s items and prized within the family.

You could do something similar – keep the work small, discreet, and unframed – and give each family member one engraved. You can choose to keep it or paste it into the album. You can give art supplies to the children on your list.

Annual gifts for friends and family can be treasures that last longer than the extravagant gifts you can buy.

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Dear Amy: We opened separate accounts when our daughter was born. I told them it was a university account.

Money gifts from relatives went into this account.

As college approached, we told them: If you have any money left after college, it’s yours. If you have college loans, they are yours. it is up to you. “

The first daughter spent most of it in college. very! The second daughter decided to go to a good public college, graduated with two of her bachelor’s degrees, and used the excess as a down payment on her first home. So far, so good.

Then the second said, “Hey, it’s wedding time. What’s my budget?”

My wife and I looked at each other and said, “Oh my god” (or something similar).

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We realized – and I’m preaching to new parents to listen now – call it college and wedding funding.

Please help spread the word.

– Daddy No More Bucks

Dear Papa: Great idea, great advice to follow! I don’t know how you solved it, but I think you handled it well.

Dear Amy: A “sick mom” didn’t know how to handle the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations after her drunken son assaulted her drunken sister.

I agree with your advice, but you may have forgotten to add one important suggestion.

If mommy doesn’t want anyone to have a gathering without alcohol, including herself, then isn’t the whole family part of the drinking problem?

– Karen

Dear Karen: This entire family was involved in the consequences of this drunken assault. Your suggestions are great and necessary.

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Ask Amy: Holiday Gifts Amplify Anxiety

Source link Ask Amy: Holiday Gifts Amplify Anxiety

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