How to Accept Help (Even Awkwardly)

Asking for and accepting help evokes a range of complex emotions. Fear of being seen as needy or weak. nervousness associated with showing vulnerability; or worry that asking for help means you are entitled. However, while accepting help from others can be difficult, giving and receiving is a necessary part of life.

“We all need help,” said Dan Newharth, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “We need other people.”

Ignoring needs makes it harder to ask for help

For many people, the difficulty in asking for and receiving help is related to childhood.as a clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone These feelings often result from our needs being overlooked at an early age. It can get very difficult to say,” said Firestone.

Sometimes these unnoticed demands are a by-product of neglect, or of parents being too overwhelmed to notice. They probably had no additional family support. Whatever the cause, when your needs are overlooked, it can make you feel embarrassed to ask for and receive help, while also developing an extreme sense of independence.

As Neuharth points out, we sometimes grow up with strings attached to help, which also causes people to be reluctant to accept it.

How to become better at accepting help

One way to successfully accept help is to start with low-risk requests, such as asking for directions. “Make it a habit,” said Firestone. “Start small.” Practicing this in a benign setting can help ease some of the emotional load. Round up.

Neuharth also recommends listening to your inner reaction when someone offers help. “Tune in and see if there are any automatic reactions,” he said. If your reflex says “no, you can handle it” or feels very uncomfortable, that’s fine Before you say it, wait a little longer to let these feelings subside.yes” Also “number. “

it feels good to help others

Asking for help can be hard, but one way to make asking for help a little easier is to focus on how you feel when you help others and remember that the same applies. That’s it. when others are helping you. “In the case of gifts for others, it can feel like a burden to ask for help to let them be generous,” said Firestone. We know it from doing it ourselves, but we don’t apply it To those who do it for us. ”