Ask Amy: Amazing Hot Tub Hopping Offshore

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Dear Amy: My husband and I are having a hot tub delivered soon.

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I plan to use it without wearing a swimsuit during the day.

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Yes nude! Yes, I have a neighbor about 40 feet away. You can meet us if you choose to take a bath or jump through the terrace door into the bath where she is 20 feet away.

We are not shy and have no intention of covering up. No, we are not going to “exhibit” ourselves.

I just want to enjoy a bath in my birthday suit.

Some friends who are not neighbors are appalled.

your thoughts?

– Bare as God intended, eh

Dear Naked: You are rampaging only on your property. I doubt your nudity is against the law (you should check your local laws).

But perhaps you enjoy the possibility of surprising your neighbors? Just a little?

Yes, of course, despite your claims, you seem to be planning to “exhibit” yourself.

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It would be easy to hang a towel around yourself for the 20-foot (approximately 20 feet) journey from your home to the hot tub (don’t you need a towel anyway?).

Some neighbors may choose to pull shade, build a taller (or taller) fence, or simply stop using their own backyard. Or maybe you have a neighbor who welcomes your hot tub by training binoculars in your direction or taking a picture of you. Posting photos and videos on their property and social media.

This is a bit of a tricky legal issue, but if your neighbors can freely see you from their property without peering through a window or fence, your own right to privacy is not guaranteed.

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Dear Amy: My wife and I are a married couple and close friends that we have known since we grew up together since we were children.

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But my wife and her best friend haven’t spoken in six years.

We all agree that a lot of the time my friend was pretty “over the top” and she apologized twice but my wife can’t forgive her.

Her husband and I are still close friends and keep in touch by phone and email (because we live in different states).

My problem is that their granddaughter is getting married soon and we were invited to the wedding.

My wife refused to go, saying that her friend had hurt her so badly that if I went I would be unfaithful.

I want to be there for my friends, but I’m not sure if that makes me unfaithful to my wife.

This wedding takes place in another state and requires two nights.

My friends would understand perfectly if I didn’t go, but I’m afraid I shouldn’t let my wife dictate my actions in this way.

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Any advice?

– Wedding Wondering

Dear Wanderling: Your wife has a personal right to continue to be estranged from her former best friends, but she has no right to insist that you remain estranged from your own close friends.

Your wife’s ex-friends are doing a lot of bidding for your wife’s attention, and it’s a big effort on their part to invite you both to this important family celebration.). Attending is obviously a big effort on your part as well.

In my opinion, attending this wedding does not show disloyalty to your wife, but in your household my opinion does not matter much.

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Dear Amy: I applaud your reaction to J, the New York uncle who feels like an adult should be hugged even when it’s uncomfortable.

I grew up in a generation that believed that children should make others happy and allow unwanted contact even when it was uncomfortable.

I remained silent when touched inappropriately. I was silent when I was sexually harassed. I was taught to ignore my discomfort.

I am determined that my little daughter has autonomy over who is allowed to touch her. She is a child and is not responsible for the feelings of adults.

We already have problems with family members and even strangers trying to invade her space.

Other adults who love a child’s life shouldn’t take it personally. Instead, we should try to understand that we need to protect our children from the dangerous people that lurk in the shadows.

– Mama Bear

Dear Mama Bear: Unfortunately, predators are often family and friends, not ‘dangers lurking in the shadows’.