According to the ex-etiquette, the parents announced the marriage of their children who, in those days, still lived with them. This gesture had a very profound meaning and was, every time, carefully written …
And it is precisely from this detail that the distinction between Participation and Invitation was born, which often believe the same thing, but this is not the case at all.
As the name implies, the participation was sent to all acquaintances of the family to “participate” in the joy of the next wedding. It was frequently delivered alone and not together with the invitation. Instead, it was intended only for the people who wanted to host the reception.
Times have passed, and today, it is usual for the spouses themselves to announce the wedding in the first person; maybe they already live together, or in any case, they no longer live with their parents .. so it is more appropriate for them to invite themselves.
They also already have children and tend to want to involve you in the participation script. In the drafting, they can announce the wedding “together” with their children or set it as if they were the children themselves announcing the happy event. I wouldn’t say I like this last formula. I always prefer that the spouses declare… but it is very subjective, space for imagination!
The invitation yes or no?
Nowadays, the custom of sending the participation without wedding invitations to the reception, to inform relatives, friends, and acquaintances all, is not very widespread. It has remained so only in some areas more linked to traditions. Hence, the risk is that sending it could create misunderstandings.
Acquaintances may wonder if they are invited or not, think that you have forgotten to insert the invitation itself, thus assuming that you will be invited regardless (when in reality it was not) … we recommend, as far as possible, to avoid …
The tradition is to put the groom’s name first and then that of the bride. Don’t worry if you find the exact opposite on American or English images… Each land has its tradition!
It will be necessary to write all the information necessary for your guest to participate, particularly in addition to who, also why, when, and where (beach wedding invites).
In the past, there was a tendency to write only the church’s name because it was assumed that there was only one parish for each city. Today it is good to help the guest as much as possible, including the church’s address, especially for those coming from outside and unfamiliar with the area.
It is also good to write the participations clearly and legibly, even by a grandfather!
The usefulness is undoubted, although those still tied to old traditions might think of it as a simple gesture. Let’s bypass this ancient thought, but absolutely NO to agency business cards or IBAN! They are cheeky messages. Instead, consider putting a perfectly coordinated card for participation and, when possible, close it in its envelope. It is not so direct, but rather to be researched!
Finally, if you like your guests to show up themed clothes with the fil rouge of your wedding, it is useful to enter the DRESs CODE. There is also etiquette for this, but nobody knows it anymore. If you wrote White Tie, do you think your guests would come in frak or just with a white tie? To enter a dress code with precise formulas, you must be sure that your guests can understand it. . must also say that it is always good not to make him feel an obligation or to choose extreme looks, force guests to spend sprees, or rent special clothes. The formula “A touch of … is welcome” is always the most functional and will never embarrass anyone.