How to deal with after-school meltdowns

By the time your child gets home from school, they’re likely ready for an after-school meltdown. After school restraint collapseThese meltdowns often occur because children have put in an inordinate amount of effort to act out during the school day, only to lose control the moment they reach a place where they feel safe. these are meltdown ADHD, autism, dyslexiaAlso dyscalculia.

“Children expend a tremendous amount of energy through their daily lives in a stereotypical world with a neuro-divergent brain. Andrew Kahna non-profit psychologist understoodThis includes spending the day in an overwhelming sensory environment. Additional energy needs to be exerted to sit quietly, focus on the teacher, and decipher social cues. Or reading and/or math are more difficult. “Navigating these wiring differences is like riding a bike in the wrong gear all day. It’s exhausting,” said Khan.

offer compassion

If your child is having regular meltdowns after coming home from school, it’s important to find ways to be compassionate about what your child is going through and help them self-regulate their emotions. As you point out, A meltdown is not a tantrum Meltdowns are emotionally driven, in the sense that all logic goes out the window. “They don’t respond to reinforcement or consequences.”

In order to help children, parents need to secure a safe place and calm the ritual. “If you can understand what they’re really struggling with, you can have compassion,” he said. Elaine Taylor-Klausbook author A must-have guide for raising complex children with ADHD, anxiety and more.

find a way to keep yourself cool

This includes finding ways to deal with these outbursts without losing your cool. “What happens to parents is that their emotions escalate as their children’s emotions escalate. So in that moment every parent becomes illogical and a nightmare,” Khan said. It’s important to anticipate things. intention Become a regular meltdown and identify strategies for staying sober. “You have to keep the fuel tank full to handle it,” he says Taylor-Klaus.

If your child hasn’t reached a meltdown yet, but has been frustrated since the day, Taylor-Klaus recommends giving them extra space to vent without passing judgment on their struggles. “You have to give them space,” she said. “Meet them where they are and acknowledge that their experience is real.”

Working with transitions

The transition from school to home is especially difficult for many children who struggle in school. “Parents should be aware that transitions from one environment to another can be very difficult for children, especially neurodiverse children. It’s about talking about them when everyone’s calm and working through the problems — work them out in advance, ”Khan said.

If your child tends to struggle in school, plan a blast or a day when they’re upset because nothing went right and they have trouble understanding what their teachers expect of them. “Planning outbursts and creating strategies for your child to plan for uncomfortable moments will help them feel more in control and stay calm,” Khan said.

Establish a homework routine, but adjust as needed

If homework is a problem because of a learning disability, Khan recommends establishing a routine for your child to study the concept at a set time each day. a manageable level for them. “Parents should not be in a position to try to re-teach their children because that would only trigger them and make things explode,” Khan said.

Instead, you can use that time to reinforce previously learned concepts or work on manageable levels of alternative exercises. “It’s never a bad thing for kids to really articulate some of their basic skills,” Khan said.

This establishes routines and expectations to work on math and reading for a set time after school and keep it at a manageable level. “When kids know their expectations are always the same, they are much less likely to explode or melt in the end because they can shift tasks around,” Khan said.