Do not ignore these less noticeable signs of verbal abuse

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It may be clear that the person talking to you is verbally abusive. You feel cut down, despised, and / or manipulated. But in other cases, it can be difficult to determine whether the words directed at you are some sort of criticism, unwelcome feedback, or actual verbal abuse.

of Well + Good Articles, Sarah Regan interviewed a mental health expert who considered various types of verbal abuse, including some of the less noticeable signs. Here’s what you need to know:

What is verbal abuse?

In short, verbal abuse is power and keeping someone obedient. Psychotherapist Dr. Annette Nunez, LMFT Said to Regan.. And while it can certainly involve yelling or yelling at someone, it can also be much more subtle, such as “individual operation, gas lamps, or just making someone feel less.” Explains.

MeIn some situations, it is not very clear whether the conversation or comment is some kind of feedback or criticism, or whether it goes into the realm of verbal abuse. In such cases, Nunez tells you to pay attention to the repeating pattern. Especially if you have already told the other person that you do not want to be told that way.

But she also states that not all offensive discussions and exchanges constitute verbal abuse. It can also be constructive criticism or some sort of disagreement. again, Nunez emphasizes It depends on whether the person is repeatedly cutting you down and trying to make you feel bad (and not just giving you feedback or expressing your dissenting opinion). ..

Less noticeable signs of verbal abuse

There are many forms of verbal abuse, some of which are quite sneaky.According to, here are some examples of less obvious signs of verbal abuse Expert Regan interviewed for her article:

Backhand statement

There is no explosive discussion here. “There are more insidious types of verbal abuse that have been calmly told and constructed to help. There is a problem you didn’t know you had,” said a clinical psychologist. Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy I told Well + Good..


According to Neo, all types of threats, including threats to the safety of you and others, should be considered verbal abuse.

Gas lamp

If you frequently hear phrases like “it didn’t happen” or “you are dramatic” (in terms of what actually happened), you may be experiencing a gas lamp. Another form of verbal abuse, gas lamps, involves constantly questioning someone’s reality with the goal of allowing someone to start it on their own.

“It’s a way they keep you in control and keep you obedient and calm by making you think you’re crazy and you’re a terrible person in a relationship.” Nunez told Regan..

One-sided “advice” from a wise savior

From time to time, people position themselves as “wise saviors” who provide irreplaceable advice to those they believe in. I don’t understand the world like they do.This can be said in different ways, but the classic one is “words of advice, you [character deficit example], And I want to help you, “explains Neo. No.

Do not ignore these less noticeable signs of verbal abuse

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