Ask Amy: Partner is angry with a tasteless gift

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Dear Amy: My partner, Chris, showed me the gift he bought for his adult son. This gift is a “confirmed” personal business card that was once owned by Adolf Hitler (Hitler allegedly handed them out to the people he met).

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Chris bought this card from a collection of rare items in an American museum and spent a fair amount of money.

He finds this gift interesting and interesting.

Chris is a kind and kind person and has no prejudice against any ethnic group.

I was very anxious, angry, disappointed and embarrassed by the nature of this gift. Anything related to Hitler is not suitable for gifts, laughter, or entertainment.

The night I learned of this gift, I was plagued by the horrifying images and thoughts of crimes against humanity caused by this monster.

I wrote a note to my partner about how I felt about it and invited him to look for some souls about his choices. He read my memo and said he felt angry and frustrated with it, saying, “I knew I shouldn’t show it to you.” Then he said, “I don’t want this to ruin my day.”

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I’m confused because this kind and kind partner was able to come up with such a gift in honor of the wicked.

How can I be relieved?

– A confused partner!

Dear Embarrassment: Using the information you provided, we have determined that the place where your partner purchased this artifact is not a “museum”, but a personal collection of individuals at the dealer’s home.

Dive into this disturbing topic and also learned that these artifacts have a fair market and collectors are using different justifications to buy them.

In my opinion, there is no ethical reason to buy them unless the buyer intends to use the artifacts as an educational tool to explain both the staleness of evil (the “calling card”) and the evil monsters. is not.

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Under no circumstances is it certainly “funny”.

Yes, at least your “kind and kind” person is sensitive to himself (he didn’t want your reaction to “ruin his day”) and in fact Hitler Millions of people to come to mind with the artifacts of.

Yes, I agree that the act of buying this item as an “interesting” gift is tasteless and annoying. In addition, your honest feedback and his reaction to concerns will make you think of his personal ethics very naturally.

You ask how to be “peaceful” with this choice. Perhaps-when you are less responsive and he is less defensive-you two will be able to understand his choices.

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However, there are times when you have to face your own values. Doing so is rarely peaceful.

Dear Amy: A dear friend who met his ex-husband recently died.

Instead of flowers, the family demanded that they make a donation to the deceased’s favorite charity. I will make such a donation.

My 15-year-old partner thinks that I should ask for donations and solicit donations from me and me.

I strongly oppose it for a variety of very good reasons. I met this friend and his wife through my ex, but my ex was not, but I maintained a friendship with them.

For a variety of very good reasons, I only contact my ex-husband when absolutely necessary.

Despite knowing all this, my partner still claims he is right. I argue that it is completely inappropriate because my ex and I are no longer a couple.

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And what is your opinion …?

– Embarrassed Re: Yuan

Dear Embarrassment: I’m surprised that this is controversial.

Inform your partner that joint donations between former spouses who rarely speak are an exception and are not standard.

More importantly, this is your friend, your money, and your choice.

Dear Amy: Your advice to “Bay Area Stepmother Cook” was, as always, tasteless.

You never teach a cook how to cook! So far. As a favor, especially when they are doing it for free.

If this son-in-law doesn’t like his mother-in-law’s food, he can cook it himself or eat it from a can.

-fed up

Dear Tired: She noticed that her son-in-law hated onions extremely, but this mother-in-law insisted on including them in all.

He doesn’t teach her how to cook.

She teaches him how to eat.