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Ask Amy: Neighbors Are Worried About Dividend Flags

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Dear Amy: We have lived next door to very good neighbors for nearly 30 years. “Charles” is kind and friendly and we really like him.

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His political views are 180 degrees different from ours.

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So far, it hasn’t been a problem because we have so many other things to discuss (gardening, family, etc.).

The problem is, he has a big flag up a few feet from our backyard fence (replaced the worn-out original with a new, bolder model). This flag contains a message that represents an ideal we despise.

Not profane – just divisive and hurtful. I don’t think it was a deliberate attack on us.

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Whenever you’re in the garden, you can’t avoid seeing and hearing it flutter in the wind. Extends about 10 feet off the ground so you can’t block your view. (Other neighbors cannot see it.)

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Visitors to our home have commented, “What do you think of that flag?” “I could pull it off for you – haha” etc.

My husband and I don’t want to lose Charles’ friendship or ruin years of a good relationship.

But this is very irritating to me and a constant reminder of the ugly division in our country.

I found myself avoiding my yard (and feeling bad for my neighbors).

what’s your advice?

– torn

Dear tone: You haven’t provided any details about this flag, nor have you said what your personal politics are.

(While this flag does not contain words or symbols that may incite violence, we proceed on the premise that it represents something directly opposed to your own ideas and values.)

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Nor did he seem to have asked his neighbor if he could move the flag to a different part of the yard.

We live in a country where anyone can freely raise a freak flag and people like you and your neighbors can live side by side in heartfelt peace. . I like what you do

Your options are to fly your own flag or banner, express your own views directly or indirectly through numerous media, or exercise your own freedom to keep your own thoughts to yourself. is to exercise

I don’t know how you feel, but if you could reframe this, it might feel different. It is a challenge to allow freedom.

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So if a friend asks you what you think about your neighbor’s flag, you can say: So – God bless America!”

Dear Amy: Recently, my husband and I have had infidelity issues (on my part).

We are working on our marriage and things seem to be going much better.

When it first happened, he was pretty upset with his friends and had most of them block me.

His best friend doesn’t talk to me much anymore, but I tell him that I love him and his girlfriend, that I don’t want to lose them, and that I hope they don’t hate me. I informed

He replied that he was not going to make any judgments until he gave my husband time to see how he was feeling.

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When it comes time for me to meet them (they all live out of state), do you have any advice for not making me feel uncomfortable, awkward, or intimidated?

I’m afraid they hate me and keep glaring at me with hate.

– tension

Dear Nerves: Your husband’s best friend has responded honestly and responsibly. You also handled that encounter well.

Apart from that, it’s important for both you and your husband to communicate that you’re mending your relationship, but otherwise the inner workings of your marriage remain private. Become.

Dear Amy: “Had Enough” wrote to you about her daughter whose high school friends rejected her and led her to drop out of school.

This weakness is the problem of this country today.

you should have called her Instead, you spoiled her.

– sorry

Dear Disappointed: I don’t think “calling out” a vulnerable person is always helpful.

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Ask Amy: Neighbors Are Worried About Dividend Flags

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