Ask Amy: Laid-off Employees Stop Baby Showers

Article content

Dear Amy: I work in a department of about 20 people.

Article content

“Jo” was recently let go.

Article content

I don’t know the full situation, but I was told there was a “cause”. Since then, many of us have kept in touch with Joe, sympathized with him, and offered support.

Meanwhile, my colleague “Hannah” is about to give birth to her first child.

Many of us attended to pick up gifts for her.

Today, the person who arranged the gift received a message from Jo requesting a return of the baby gift donation.

We have already returned Jo’s donation (in the $20’s), but most of us find it awkward and even trivial to ask for the baby gift money back. .

Hannah had nothing to do with Joe’s firing, and I know Joe and Hannah were close at work. Joe had signed a card before leaving and had written a very kind message to Hannah. Hannah doesn’t see the message because he feels she needs to replace the card.

Article content

This whole incident changed many people’s opinion of Joe. Because of this, some are reconsidering giving Jo references.

Was Jo insane or should this guy loosen up a bit?

– Embarrassed present giver

Dear Puzzling: My first thought was that “Joe” could be in a spiral and suddenly very worried about finances. It’s not necessarily reasonable for Jo to think that getting this $20 back of her would have a big impact on the outcome.

My next thought is that Joe is hurt and bitter. Pain plus bitterness is a trifle. And yes, this person’s pettiness misses the point. There are always little things.

Of course, this will affect your opinion of your ex-colleagues, but my experience is that you’ll regret cutting someone’s slack, especially when they’re injured or in action. Most likely not.

Article content

Think of it this way. Once slack is allowed, it can always be ‘loosen up’ later based on the person’s subsequent behavior.

When providing a job referral, you should only comment on your specific knowledge of the person’s job performance.

I don’t know why Jo was fired, but using this episode as a reason to decline a nomination is also petty in my opinion.

Recommended videos

Dear Amy: A close cousin of mine got her first dog (after a lifetime as a cat person).

Honestly, I am very happy with my cousin because this puppy is definitely an adorable, well-behaved and all-around cutie.

When she first got the dog, we were hosting outdoor picnics. Of course we said yes. Her pup fascinated everyone and the visit went very well. We then held another (very small) event on the porch. Pup showed up and the visit went pretty well.

Article content

We are planning to host our first large indoor gathering since she got a dog.

We don’t want to set a precedent for puppies being automatically included in every event, but we don’t know how to undo this.

what’s your suggestion?

– do not know

Any questions: Like many people, I got a “pandemic puppy.” And while my dog ​​is a portable breed and is welcomed into other people’s homes, I don’t think there is a host who wouldn’t want a dog to visit. so i know this.

I need to train my cousin. Tell her, “We’re enjoying your dog, but please leave her pup safely at home because this time it’s going to be a bigger indoor get-together.”

Article content

People who have adorable dogs can seem to have blind spots about the people in their lives. I have to categorically say, “This time it won’t work.”

Dear Amy: “To Tell or Not” asked if she would disclose the sexual abuse she experienced as a child to potential long-term partners.

My wife may have written that letter 40 years ago when we were dating.

The first 6 years of our marriage were very difficult because I couldn’t understand why she would resist emotionally.

Finally, with the help of a good therapist, she was able to share this important part of her life.

Of course I was hurt for her. As a result of her knowledge and trust, we have a strong, loving and wonderful marriage.

– Grateful Husband

Dear Thanks: I am very impressed with your account. Thank you very much.